the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
