no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
