I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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