I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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