Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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