Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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