He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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