We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
