My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
