did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
