Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize