other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
