She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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