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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
