Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
