the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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