I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
