like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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