He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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