No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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