Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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