Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
