i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
