No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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