Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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