If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
