Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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