Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
