My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
