So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
