your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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