Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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