guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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