Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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