I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
