New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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