I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
