So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
