Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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