I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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