after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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