You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
