You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
