if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize