You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
