I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The air was thick with penises
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
