help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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