The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
