nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
