She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
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So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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