Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
