At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
