Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize