Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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