Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
