There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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