She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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