I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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