Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
