so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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