hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
