Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Will exercising make me less horny?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
