hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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